The irony isn’t lost on me. I teach people how to support others to live independently. Yet I’m still learning how to ask for help myself. This week I had to ask one of my team members to drive me to the doctor to have my stitches removed after surgery. To most people, that probably sounds like a simple request. For me, it wasn’t. I hate asking for help. Not because I think I’m above it, and not because I don’t trust the people around me. Quite the opposite. I have incredible people around me.
Lindy (An Amazing Support Worker & friend) didn’t hesitate. And if she hadn’t been available, she said her husband (our Great Gardener) Johnny, would have stepped in without a second thought. The support was there before I even asked. But asking still felt uncomfortable. Because asking for help means being vulnerable. It means admitting you can’t do something on your own. It means risking someone saying no. Not because they don’t care, but because life is busy and people have their own commitments. As someone who values independence so highly, that vulnerability is hard. Yet every day I work alongside people who don’t always have the luxury of choosing whether to ask for help. Many of our clients rely on support workers, family members, friends, therapists and carers to help them achieve things that many of us take for granted.
This week gave me a tiny glimpse into that reality. Just a glimpse. And honestly? I don’t know how they do it. The trust that takes. The courage it takes. The vulnerability it takes. Perhaps that’s why some of the strongest people I know are the people we support. Maybe independence isn’t about doing everything yourself. Maybe it’s about knowing when to lean on others and having the courage to ask. It’s a lesson I’m still learning. – Bec