💚 FIG Journal
The part of recovery nobody warned me about.
I'd heard women talk about brain fog during perimenopause and menopause, but I honestly never expected to experience it after surgery.
When I had my surgery, I expected pain.
I knew there would be weeks where I'd need to slow down while my body healed.
What I didn't expect was struggling to find words, forgetting simple things, and feeling like my brain just couldn't keep up.
Today's brain fog moment actually ended with a laugh.
I had to ring The Royal Women's Hospital because I needed a letter confirming I could return to teaching on reduced hours.
Except... I couldn't remember what the letter was called.
It wasn't just that the word escaped me. It was like my whole brain had gone blank.
I was trying to explain it to the nurse and it honestly felt like playing charades... except without the body movements. Just random words, long pauses and growing frustration while I searched for the right one.
She laughed and said,
"I had a hysterectomy eight years ago. I know exactly what you mean."
We both had a laugh, and suddenly I didn't feel quite so silly.
The physical pain has been one challenge.
The brain fog has been another.
But I think the hardest part has actually been the decision fatigue.
I keep opening my notebook full of ideas for FIG... then quietly closing it again.
Not because I don't care.
Quite the opposite.
I care so much that I want to do everything well.
But right now, my brain just doesn't have the capacity to turn ten ideas into one plan.
Next week I'm hoping to return to teaching my Certificate III in Individual Support students on reduced hours. Even making that decision was difficult.
Every instinct tells me to jump straight back into everything.
But healing has a funny way of reminding us that our bodies don't always work to our own timelines.
Working in disability and aged care reminds me every day that many people live with challenges far greater than what I'm experiencing right now. I know my recovery is temporary, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.
But I've also realised something.
Just because someone else is carrying a heavier load doesn't mean you're not allowed to admit that yours feels heavy too.
I'm much better at giving other people permission to slow down than I am at giving myself permission to do the same.
Maybe that's my lesson in all of this.
One day at a time. 💚